Classic Ann Landers

Ann Landers
Sat, 22 Apr 2023 21:00:00 -0700
Lifestyle

Dear Ann Landers: I am a 60-year-old man who doesn't have any interest in anything or anyone. I'm bored with everybody I meet. I am bored with my job and bored with my life.

I grew up in an orphanage and am unable to show love because I never had any as a child. It is impossible for me to keep a relationship going. Either I lose interest or the other party does. I wish there were some way I could feel like I did 30 years ago, when I was full of ambition and looking forward to the future.
Updated: Sun Apr 23, 2023

Dear Ann Landers: I am a 60-year-old man who doesn't have any interest in anything or anyone. I'm bored with everybody I meet. I am bored with my job and bored with my life.

I grew up in an orphanage and am unable to show love because I never had any as a child. It is impossible for me to keep a relationship going. Either I lose interest or the other party does. I wish there were some way I could feel like I did 30 years ago, when I was full of ambition and looking forward to the future.

Is there any hope for me, or should I just resign myself to boredom for the rest of my life? Thanks for listening, Ann. — Bored in Brooklyn

Dear Brooklyn: You aren't bored; you are depressed. But you don't have to stay that way for the rest of your life. See a doctor, and ask for an antidepressant that will help you. Along with the medication, sign up for some talking sessions with a psychologist.

You also need to become involved in activities that will help you feel better about yourself. I'm talking about service to others. Be a volunteer. When you encounter people with real problems, yours won't look so serious. Don't delay. Get going as soon as you read this. And please write again and let me know how you're doing.

Dear Ann Landers: My husband's mother passed away four years ago. His father remarried not long after, but my husband hasn't taken to his stepmother very well. He never speaks to her unless he absolutely has to.

Although there never has been an argument or a fight between them, the tension is obvious, and it is uncomfortable for everyone.

About two months ago, I had a long talk with my father-in-law and let him know that his son wanted a closer relationship. The minute I opened my mouth, his wife jumped in, made all kinds of accusations and stormed out. I admit I might not have been very diplomatic in my approach, but I figured it was best to be honest and lay my cards on the table. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do.

I have apologized to his wife for being so frank, but I cannot change the way I feel. Now, the woman avoids us completely, and I think she is persuading my father-in-law to do the same. I am afraid I have made things worse, and now, I want to make the situation better. Any ideas? — Lost in Louisiana

Dear Louisiana: It is said that distance lends enchantment, and in this case, I recommend it — for a while, at least. Maintain contact, but don't rehash the argument. Let the situation cool down. Don't try to butter up the woman or be obsequious. Just be pleasant. Ignore the past, and let time do its work.