Classic Ann Landers

Ann Landers
Sat, 04 Mar 2023 21:00:00 -0800
Lifestyle

Dear Ann Landers: Two years ago, I met a wonderful man, and we have been dating ever since. When "Bob" bought a home last May, he asked me to move in with him. I knew his mother would be moving in, too, but I thought it would be temporary.
Updated: Sun Mar 05, 2023

Dear Ann Landers: Two years ago, I met a wonderful man, and we have been dating ever since. When "Bob" bought a home last May, he asked me to move in with him. I knew his mother would be moving in, too, but I thought it would be temporary.

Well, it's been eight months, and she is still here. I cook, clean and do laundry, but she does everything over again, saying I didn't do a good job. She has peculiar eating habits, which makes it difficult for me to prepare a tasty meal that everyone can enjoy. When I try to cook something she can eat, she claims my cooking "doesn't taste right" and adds other ingredients or dilutes it with water. She also tells me I shouldn't use a mop on the floor because "it's not clean unless you get down on your hands and knees and scrub."

I've told Bob several times that I am ready to pack up and leave, but he cries and begs me to stay. I honestly don't want to go, Ann. I really love the guy. Can you help me? — Exasperated in Salem, Oregon

Dear Salem: Face it. Your boyfriend is going to have to decide — either his mother must live elsewhere, or you leave — unless, of course, you are willing to put up with the old battle-ax forever.

Because you aren't married yet, there's a chance you may win the power struggle, but I wouldn't bet on it. Your future mother-in-law is going to be a thorn in your side, a fly in your ointment and a bone in your throat forever. Get some counseling to give yourself confidence and strength.

You're going to need it.

Dear Ann Landers: I never cease to be amazed at the number of people who put an unfair burden on a bride and groom by carrying wedding presents to the reception. The couple then must arrange for one or two empty cars to haul the gifts to the couple's new home.

I believe this happens for two reasons: procrastination and laziness. Many guests wait until the last minute to buy a gift, and then they bring it to the wedding rather than have it delivered. Also, some guests don't want to be bothered with wrapping a gift for mailing.

You would do thousands of wedding couples a huge favor if you would urge guests to purchase and deliver gifts before the big day. If they can't manage to get the gift in advance, it is perfectly OK to send it a few days after the wedding. I hope you agree with me, Ann. — F.W. in Zionsville, Indiana

Dear Zionsville: You've hit on something that has stuck in my craw for ages. Thank you. Whenever I go to a wedding and see a table loaded with gifts, I feel sorry for the bride and groom — or, more realistically, for their parents. What an imposition to expect them to take these presents home, keep the cards straight and so on. How much more considerate to have those gifts delivered several days before the ceremony.